Day 24
July 6
I finally caught up with the group again in Astorga so it's good to be back. My foot felt better today until I walked emma to the hospital in town which ended up being really far away. She was hurting really bad today and the doctor ssid she has tendonitis in the tops of both her feet so she's not supposed to walk for 3 days or she'll permanently damage her feet. She was sobbing because she's so frustrated she can't walk. She had a lot of injuries with lax last year that were really liked with her depression so since she's injured again her depression is getting really bad again.
I can understand that. My depression got really bad today. I forgot to take my antidepressant this morning and I gueee my body immediately felt it. I just laid in bed and cried and told Nate we should break up because im not good enough and I thought he deserved better than me because I'm always depressed and miserable and I'll never be satisfied. And it sucked feeling like that because I haven't in so long. I've Been doing really well since I've been on medication and being back there just felt like shit. So I talked to emma a little bit about it since we're both depressed today and it was nice to just be open and honest about it.
So tomorrow me emma and marnix are staying in astorga and just resting and then me and emma will take a taxi the next day to catch up with the group and marnix will walk 30 lm. I'm glad to have company but again, marnix is only choosing to stay because of emma. I've been injured for a week now and he's never offered to change his plans for me. I know I can't really be upset because he likes emma way more but it's still hard feeling like the dumb little tag along sister who no one really wants. Lately I've just been feeling like a third wheel with the 2 of them which is hard.
I know I talk about this a lot but I'm just so frustrated with being injured. I've had 2 good days of our 23 and I feel like I've missed half the trip because I'm always bussing since I'm in pain. I can't wait to feel better and get back into the routine of hiking. Mostly I just miss being with the class but bussing is difficult since many towns are too small for bus stations and the taxis are fairly pricey to do often. So it's been easier to just wait a couple days and then catch up but that also means more time alone.
I finally caught up with the group again in Astorga so it's good to be back. My foot felt better today until I walked emma to the hospital in town which ended up being really far away. She was hurting really bad today and the doctor ssid she has tendonitis in the tops of both her feet so she's not supposed to walk for 3 days or she'll permanently damage her feet. She was sobbing because she's so frustrated she can't walk. She had a lot of injuries with lax last year that were really liked with her depression so since she's injured again her depression is getting really bad again.
I can understand that. My depression got really bad today. I forgot to take my antidepressant this morning and I gueee my body immediately felt it. I just laid in bed and cried and told Nate we should break up because im not good enough and I thought he deserved better than me because I'm always depressed and miserable and I'll never be satisfied. And it sucked feeling like that because I haven't in so long. I've Been doing really well since I've been on medication and being back there just felt like shit. So I talked to emma a little bit about it since we're both depressed today and it was nice to just be open and honest about it.
So tomorrow me emma and marnix are staying in astorga and just resting and then me and emma will take a taxi the next day to catch up with the group and marnix will walk 30 lm. I'm glad to have company but again, marnix is only choosing to stay because of emma. I've been injured for a week now and he's never offered to change his plans for me. I know I can't really be upset because he likes emma way more but it's still hard feeling like the dumb little tag along sister who no one really wants. Lately I've just been feeling like a third wheel with the 2 of them which is hard.
I know I talk about this a lot but I'm just so frustrated with being injured. I've had 2 good days of our 23 and I feel like I've missed half the trip because I'm always bussing since I'm in pain. I can't wait to feel better and get back into the routine of hiking. Mostly I just miss being with the class but bussing is difficult since many towns are too small for bus stations and the taxis are fairly pricey to do often. So it's been easier to just wait a couple days and then catch up but that also means more time alone.
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