Day 46 & Day 47

July 27

Emma woke me up at 340 to say good bye before she left which was sad. I'm gonna miss her. we've been together everyday for almost 7 weeks so it's gonna be strange not seeing her but I know we'll text and hang out once we get back to cnu. I woke up for breakfast at 8 again and then went back to bed and watched netflix until I woke up at 1245 to Steven waking me up to go to the mall. I knew I'd have better odds buying clothes that had the sentiment of being bought in Spain rather than a Camino keychain. So will Christiana Sibel Steven and I walked to the mall which was about 25 minutes away. 

My feet hurt s lot but we stopped about 1/3 of the way there for burgers which allowed my feet to rest. Then we split up and I found a lot of clothes for myself and when we met back up Sibel said her and will wanted to go see a movie. Me and Steven decided 8 euros was too much to see cars 3 in Spanish so we got milkshakes at Burger King and then shopped for another hour before heading home. It was a really successful trip to the mall and I bought a lot of stuff that is unique to the fashion style in Spain and will be fun to wear around campus. My feet were dead walking back so I was tearing up and walking super slow. Steven sat down with me on a bench half way back to the hostel to rest my feet. Which helped but I knew I needed serious rest. So I spent the rest of the night in bed watching Netflix and packing my bag and throwing out extra stuff that didn't fit or that was just unnecessary to bring all the way home.

It was a successful day because of the mall but it was exhausting and weird not having emma to hang out with constantly. She was definitely who I was closest too and Corbyn and Kira's room is so far away and I have neither of their phone numbers so I didn't really get in contact with them to hang out. Which was fine anyways I knew they were interested in doing more spiritual and religious things in Santiago so I'm glad they got the trip they wanted to. They really seem changed by the Camino so I'm happy for them but it's also intimidating to feel like I don't fit in.

July 28

It's our last day in Santiago today but I really don't have anything exciting planned. I slept through breakfast but Christina and Sibel woke me up so I was awake for 2 hours watching Netflix until I finally fell back asleep until 2pm and then I went to the supermarket for some food since I had skipped dinner and breakfast. Sibel told me we had class at 4pm so I just wanted some food before I had to sit through the last class for a couple hours. After class I got back into bed and rested until 730 to go shopping for presents for people. I wanted to get nates mom a shell necklace since she's always so generous putting up with me when I fly in and out of Virginia. And then I bought my dad and sister tshirts and bought my mom a watercolor painting of the Santiago cathedral at sunset which is absolutely beautiful. My family is hard to shop for since we're not a very gifty family but I was glad I found things they all would genuinely like and not just things to say I bought them presents.

At 830 I met the whole class for our last dinner together. Me and caroline split shrimp scampi and a burger. It was good but I had been feeling light headed all day and I was so exhausted by 1030 I headed home to get sleep while everyone else went out to a concert to celebrate our last night in spain. It was sad not being able to hang out with them but I know when my body needs sleep and I kept getting light headed and dizzy and sweaty and I knew I wouldn't have a good time even if I pushed myself. So I went to bed early after downloading some shows to watch on the plane for tomorrow.

It's weird thinking about heading home but I don't think I'm different. I think I've met really amazing people on this trip that I want to keep around when I get back to cnu but I don't feel like I had a spiritual connection like I was looking for or that I really discovered a lot about myself. I think the things that stood out about myself I already knew that I'm strong and independent and I put pressure on myself to keep going and keep up with other people and not back out. During class Kira and Corbyn asked kip tips for transitioning back into society and I don't feel like I'm "transitioning" it feels like I've been in Spain forever but I know as soon as the plane touches down it'll feel like I never left America. It's just strange having high expectations and then this trip disappointing in most ways. My mom wants me to get x rays for my feet when I get home. Steven thinks it might be stress fractures and if it is then that means I won't be able to work as well as I used to which better not impair my paycheck since I need all the money I can get after taking 7 weeks off of work and paying for sorority dues and parking pass. So my anxiety is kicking in but trying to take 1 thing at a time.